05 February 2020 @ 07:01 pm
 


how's my driving.

how am i doing with ririchiyo? any tips or what have you are welcome and much much appreciated. is she too stereotypical tsundere? not enough shun after being tsun? please tell me here and i’ll keep your crit in mind. the only thing i ask is that personal matters don’t leak into the crit and please please no flaming for it’s just unnecessary. alternately, you can use this as a means to get in contact with me if nothing is working or this is more convenient for you.

anon is on, ip logging is off and comment screening is on.
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KASHIWAZAKI (柏崎 星奈) SENA: → E N T H U S I A S M ☆[personal profile] meatshields on March 20th, 2012 03:05 am (UTC)
just some minor grammatical nitpicks here. i'm not anal retentive over things especially since i mangle english pretty badly myself but i did want to call your attention to a pretty common error i've noticed. take some of the mistakes in this post

I think I may of got a frostbite

it's I may have got

she is dressed, in short, more revealing than one would want her to be

use "more revealingly" or "in a more revealing fashion"

she was use to attention, regards of what kind

she was used to attention regardless of what kind

like i said these are all pretty minor but since i saw multiple instances of the 'of' error, i wanted to ping you about it.
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ʀɪʀɪᴄʜɪʏᴏ sʜɪʀᴀᴋɪɪɴ ❣ 白鬼院 凜々蝶: × sᴜʀᴘʀɪsᴇᴅ.[personal profile] patronizing on March 23rd, 2012 01:55 am (UTC)
oh goodness thanks for the corrections erie! weirdly enough, my english isn't usually this bad but most the time my posts are put up really late at night so my brain is like a mess and blob of goo. I. . . rarely ever write posts early, but once again thanks for pinging me about this!
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KASHIWAZAKI (柏崎 星奈) SENA: → S I N C E R E L Y ☆[personal profile] meatshields on March 23rd, 2012 03:03 am (UTC)
No worries no worries! like i said these are pretty minor things! i just wasn't sure they were slip-ups and you did know about the correct usage or if you didn't. i'd suggest having someone give your posts a read over before you post them if you don't want to go to the hassle of preparing them early ehe.

aside from that i do want to say how much i admire how much activity you've gotten done with an anti-social character without sacrificing that aspect of their personality. everything she's done seems very in line with what kind of character she is. ehe sorry i can't be more specific since i don't really know much about inu boku.

thanks for your time!
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(Anonymous) on April 27th, 2012 04:15 am (UTC)
So when I first started interacting with Ririchiyo, I literally knew nothing about her or her canon, and at first thought of her as a pretty staunch example of the tsundere archetype. But I was mistaken! The more I interacted with/saw Ririchiyo, the more I got to see her complexity, which I think you do a brilliant job at bringing out in pieces. She may seem like a haughty and cold archetype, but she's a very well done tsundere for that reason—That softer side isn't readily or immediately apparent, and seeing her be genuinely abrasive and deal with the fact that people may be annoyed by her without softening at all is really great. I think too often players of this kind of character will soften them too quickly in favor of CR, so thank you for playing this more realistically! The effort is seen and it makes her really fun to stalk and play with, abrasive or not.
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ʀɪʀɪᴄʜɪʏᴏ sʜɪʀᴀᴋɪɪɴ ❣ 白鬼院 凜々蝶: × ʏᴇʟʟɪɴɢ.[personal profile] patronizing on April 27th, 2012 02:10 pm (UTC)
GET YOUR BUTT OUT OF HIDING SO I CAN LOVE YOU
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ʀɪʀɪᴄʜɪʏᴏ sʜɪʀᴀᴋɪɪɴ ❣ 白鬼院 凜々蝶: × ᴅᴇʀᴇ.[personal profile] patronizing on April 27th, 2012 02:22 pm (UTC)
but no, I don’t want to scare you away when you said such nice things to me. I’m happy to hear that you believe I’m making the tsundere archtype believable and realistic, but I just feel I can relate to how she acts sometimes so I just base it off how it is from a realistic point of view, if that makes any sense. tsunderes don’t give their affections to anyone and since she’s a different type of tsundere I guess she has a more realistic personality?? ahhh I can’t really word since I’m really surprised and happy at seeing this but Nobara does have something to say though.

but ahhh thank you and I’m happy to know I’m doing her justice
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(Anonymous) on April 27th, 2012 03:20 pm (UTC)
no, compliment!anon will stay in hiding until another day fufufufufu

(but I'm glad this made you happy! and thank you for the link to the page, haha! I need to check out this series...)
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ʀɪʀɪᴄʜɪʏᴏ sʜɪʀᴀᴋɪɪɴ ❣ 白鬼院 凜々蝶: × ғᴍʟ.[personal profile] patronizing on April 27th, 2012 03:25 pm (UTC)
no i want to know who you are mystery anon, you are making my heart weep sob

(no problem! and yes please do for it needs more fans ahaha. maybe one day we will play together, possibly as a castmate one day..)
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[personal profile] playerkills on May 20th, 2012 05:35 am (UTC)
Hi April! I can't say this enough, but I love your characterization of Ririchiyo and it's clear that you've put a lot of thought into playing her. Right off the bat, you can see that she's a complex character - more than the typical "tsundere loli" mould.

I just have a minor thing to nitpick at, like your usage of some words. When Ririchiyo called Taiwan idiosyncratic, I assume you meant peculiar or eccentric? I wouldn't use it to call someone that in this situation. Like, I'm not sure if I would call a person idiosyncratic, but I see it being used to describe actions and reactions more. So maybe she could have said, "What an idiosyncratic reaction." or "That's quite an idiosyncrasy you have." I know making characters sound smart can be a problem, but be careful when using the thesaurus!
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ʀɪʀɪᴄʜɪʏᴏ sʜɪʀᴀᴋɪɪɴ ❣ 白鬼院 凜々蝶: × ᴜɢᴜᴜ.[personal profile] patronizing on May 20th, 2012 04:04 pm (UTC)
Ahaha, yeah I was having difficulty with that tag and I didn’t want her to say “You’re a weird person” but when I look back at that tag I know I could’ve made her say “You’re an odd one” in its place since she says things like that in the manga often. I mean, Ririchiyo has a big vocabulary to start with as I’ve gone over the words she’s used in the manga and anime so I tried to find a word which wasn’t too simple. I was aware that the tag I gave Taiwan was worded awkwardly but I was like “Ughhh, what do I do..” but thanks for the protip Yana! I’ll be more careful of her wording next time and double-check the word and what sentence structure it could be used in.
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